joy

God's been teaching me how important it is to make a conscious effort to focus on the joy of being a mom. I was at a baby shower once and someone said something so wise: she said "Motherhood is filled with really high highs and really low lows, and sometimes you're the only one who gets to experience them". So true. Lately the Lord has been so graciously allowing me to glimpse the precious-ness through the craziness. Maybe you have no idea what I'm talking about. Maybe your kids obey everything that you say and never throw a fit and never have to be disciplined and never cried as a baby for hours on end and always slept perfectly through the night. Maybe you never wake up to a pile of poop in the corner of the room, or have to deal with a pile of pee clothes at the end of the day. Whatever, there's no getting around the fact that our kids can push us to our limits. I'm still discovering that God is able and willing to take over when I reach mine, and that when I call out to Him and am willing to obey Him, He will help me. I am so thankful God gave me the stubborn, strong-willed, adorable kids that He did, because I never realized how much I needed Him before.

Today my boys and I were taking turns singing happy birthday to each other and playing ring-around-the-rosy ("asher, asher, we all fall down). We were having group hugs and kisses and I was just stunned by them. They are so incredibly precious. I was rocking Asher to sleep and looking at his little fat hands and thinking that he's two months older than Owen was when I had Asher. I am so much more ready to focus on the little things this time around, because I don't even remember what Owen was like at that age. Thank God for them, and thank God He's teaching me to see through eyes of joy.